Still hurting

I don’t cry at every thought and whim but I find that my mind wanders easily to things that lead me to think of my dear Shelby. I was in Wal-Mart and passed the shelf where the same blanket I bought for Shelby was (she is buried in it) and I started crying, I managed to control myself and get on with shopping and got out of the store without further incident.

I wonder when I’ll get past this? I knew I was attached to the old girl because my day was planned around her needs and I enjoyed just being close to her and watching her even when she was sick. Caring for her for years has been a joy and now just a big hurt.

I am making plans to head to Mexico next week; maybe leaving here and not being so close to Shelby’s grave will help me adjust sooner rather than my living with sadness all the time. The trip to San Felipe Mexico will a quiet one without my pal to talk to and plan pee break stops for.  I have ordered a marker for her grave and in some mysterious way that gives me a bit of peace, giving her resting spot a bit of dignity befitting a dear friend.

In all this I haven’t mentioned my other fur kid PIA Cat she has been with me even longer and is quite old now, she is 18 or 19 years old. As a kitten she was always getting into trouble and racing about the house a like a crazy cat. She is Siamese and at times vocal and always curious. Now that she is old she spends a great deal of time sleeping and has issues jumping up on her favorite bed or table to get her food. Still she jumps a lot higher than I do so I’m not criticizing ….Still she is a great comfort and gives her love as freely as ever.

Pia Cat checking out the view she is a wonderful kitty very loving

 

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6 thoughts on “Still hurting

  1. I know, she held a special place in our lives that defined us in some ways. We won’t forget her or any of our pets because they mean so much to us they are a very big part of our lives and their passing is significant emotional event. As time goes by I think the happier memories will come to the surface and the sadness will diminish then we can relate the happy tales of her life without the tears (maybe). Right now the feelings are raw and painful.

  2. Pia cat is beautiful! I am sure she is mourning also. You both will be reunited some day.
    Your feeling are normal, feel them and move through them. Time does heal the pain, it just doesn’t go away ever. Is you home near Los Cabos? I was there a 6 years ago and it was so beautiful..Have a safe trip back home.

    • I think PIA is trying to figure out what happened to Shelby I have seen her sitting in the middle of the floor looking around as though to say where is my pal? They were close pals often napping together and Pia frequently groomed Shelby so the trust and caring was deep. Pia herself is old almost twenty no and it shows; still she is a loving kitty and no trouble at all.

  3. There’s no way to know how long grieving lasts. You loved Shelby, she was part of your life and now she has passed on. It’s a big loss, there’s a hole there now. If she was not special to you, you would not feel this way.
    I have been there more than once.

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