I don’t cry at every thought and whim but I find that my mind wanders easily to things that lead me to think of my dear Shelby. I was in Wal-Mart and passed the shelf where the same blanket I bought for Shelby was (she is buried in it) and I started crying, I managed to control myself and get on with shopping and got out of the store without further incident.
I wonder when I’ll get past this? I knew I was attached to the old girl because my day was planned around her needs and I enjoyed just being close to her and watching her even when she was sick. Caring for her for years has been a joy and now just a big hurt.
I am making plans to head to Mexico next week; maybe leaving here and not being so close to Shelby’s grave will help me adjust sooner rather than my living with sadness all the time. The trip to San Felipe Mexico will a quiet one without my pal to talk to and plan pee break stops for. I have ordered a marker for her grave and in some mysterious way that gives me a bit of peace, giving her resting spot a bit of dignity befitting a dear friend.
In all this I haven’t mentioned my other fur kid PIA Cat she has been with me even longer and is quite old now, she is 18 or 19 years old. As a kitten she was always getting into trouble and racing about the house a like a crazy cat. She is Siamese and at times vocal and always curious. Now that she is old she spends a great deal of time sleeping and has issues jumping up on her favorite bed or table to get her food. Still she jumps a lot higher than I do so I’m not criticizing ….Still she is a great comfort and gives her love as freely as ever.
Pia Cat checking out the view she is a wonderful kitty very loving
My dear fur friend is gone she left this life peacefully at 5pm this evening without a whimper like the good dog she had been since I’ve known her. No more wagging tail or nose to poke me for a pet, no more hearing her noises as she slept dreaming dog dreams of running and playing and rolling on the grass or sand, no more looking for treats or handouts. No more trips with her willing doggy grin as she rode along with me to adventures near and far.
My life revolved around her needs as I made sure she was well cared for, kept safe and shown love and kindness. She in return gave unconditional love only a good pet can give. I thank her for that for being a good dog, a good traveling companion I only wish I were as good a human as she thought I was. Our time together wasn’t enough as far as we both were concerned however there comes a time when the human has to stop the pain and suffering of the fur friend even though the pain of loss is so strong. I know I did the right thing but the sadness and loneliness for her furry comfort is just overwhelming tonight.
She lies a few feet from my RV my family helped bury her in the hard dry desert and treated her with respect and kindness and me too. I thank them for that it has helped me get through this loss.
Shelby and I on our walk at the farm how I miss you shelb
I bit the bullet and bought new tires for the rig. It was hard parting with all that money, but it had to be done as the tires on the old bus where past due for changing out. The tire men doing the heavy work at Jack Furrier’s Tire Center in Tucson showed me where the crack on one tire had made it all around the rim and on an other tire it was almost halfway around the rim. Those tires were ready to blow and cause me a lot of trouble, trouble I don’t need right now. I feel relieved that the tires I am riding on are new and should not blow anytime soon.
Shelby being cool
Now my mind has two issues my dog and her problems and getting back to Mexico and my home. Tomorrow evening I and Shelby have an appointment with the Vet most likely the last appointment for Shelby.
Now I am turning my attention to my return to San Felipe Mexico. The immigration Law has changed in Mexico and the way the law will be enforced is still a bit murky, but it looks like one can become a permanent resident easier now unless the information I have read is not correct. I sure hope it is correct as I would like to become a permanent resident of Mexico and learn Spanish at a high level which will take a great effort and a lot of time. I have little else to do with my time so I have to dedicated myself to that task.
My dear Shelby my pal for many years is coming to the end of her life her cancer has grown and is ugly she is not eating all her food and she sleeps most of the day. Soon I will have to do the right thing and take her to the vet for the last time. I dread doing it she has been a good dog a great companion and still looks for love from me and I can barely stand to think of losing her.
Slowly I have come to the realization that I have to do this thing as she should not suffer. She will be so deeply and sadly missed. I can’t imagine getting another pet to replace her. I am getting to old to assure an animal a safe and good home for the rest of their life and I wouldn’t want to pass that responsibility on to family member or friend.
I find it a heavy decision and already I am deeply saddened to loose my friend.
I came across a deal of a house in Tucson and was confident that it was a good investment and was pursuing purchase when I ran a afoul of the bureaucrats in corporate Amerika! First they were upset that I didn’t have a physical address here in the states. I know for a fact foreigners purchase real estate all the time in the U.S. how do they get away with it and I who has served in the military for over 21 years and receive retirement pay for it at the local bank here has to have a physical address? I live in an RV and travel when and where I feel like it using a mail service in South Dakota which is fine with SD. I have all my vehicles insured and registered there and I am a registered voter there of course until Mitt’s gang finds out and then my voter’s card will be torn up ! But that is another story. I finally convinced them that the address in SD was legal. Then the brown stuff hit the fan; I used to have a name I didn’t like and after I retired from the Army I changed my name I haven’t used that name in almost twenty years and yet the little bureaucrats want me to sign a form saying that was my name using my, to them, new name. Well I had enough of this crap and blew my top! I guess I got a little carried away or did I? What the hell business is it of anyone what I was called back in 1983? Why if I have been a very good credit consumer, and I have, should I have to dig up old documents and painful memories of the past?
So I called a halt to the proceedings and I am making plans to return to Mexico and my little house there to enjoy the company of friends and neighbors and let all this aggravation fade in my memory.
In my opinion Amerika has turned into a fascist state where anyone can demand to know anything about your private business or they can deny you services, credit, the right to vote, even own property. Someone is keeping tabs on your purchases and bank transfers even as little as a thousand dollars if it is done multiple times over a short period anything ten thousand dollars or more is recorded and may be investigated. Who will do the investigation? I don’t know! Supposedly the politicians are against big government so who would the investigators be? Bank corporations? The crooks that stole billions and got billions from the government? All of this invasion of privacy and restrictions is causing me to not trust or like my country anymore and so many people are going along with it like …like sheeple! They say “WELL the government is just trying to protect us”…. really is it the government? Or is it corporations getting control of your private data to mine it for their purposes so they can control you in ways you would have never dreamed of. A few years ago I would have poo-poo’d this as some sort of imaginary conspiracy stuff, but I’ve changed my mind. We are screwed and the rich corporations and the rich guys running them are going to make sure we stay screwed. The little guy and gal working their ass off trying to keep a roof over the heads of their loved ones and food on the table are too tired and stressed out to even imagine the bullshit that is now CORPORATE AMERIKA. JMHO. SCREW the Patriot Act and all the crap that followed it!